Oh! The English..... !!

ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England ..
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?
AND IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS, GERMS!
(…..sent in by Ronnie D’Souza: 23 May 2009)

Posture-ous

• Never sleep on your stomach (?)
• Pick a mattress that supports you, but is neither too hard nor too soft
• Adjust your car seat or steering wheel so your elbows are always bent at least 30 degrees while you are driving.
• When you stand, make sure your body follows its vertical plumb-lines
• When you sit, shoulders should be aligned vertically over the hips. Do not cross your legs at the thigh.
• Sit symmetrically so there is equal pressure on both hips
• Do not carry a wallet in your back pocket; it will work as a wedge and cause misalignment of your hips and pelvis
• Avoid high-heeled boots and shoes; wear footwear with shock-absorbing rubber soles.

............Health Tips from Dovecot - The Bangalore Club House Journal:May 2009

Indian MADAME TUSSAUDS(?) at Kolhapur.... Amazing !!!

Got this one on the email circuit........

Mind Blowing !!
Indian MADAME TUSSAUDS at Kolhapur.... Amazing !!!
Unlike at Madame Tussauds, that most of these statues are in the outdoors and exposed to vagaries of nature, makes it all the more amazing and mind blowing!

"Mera Bharat Mahaan!"

Siddhagiri Museum Kolhapur
… it's on the outskirts of Kolhapur on the way to Belgaum
..worth seeing…. all statues are made out of wax.

Comments:

Monika Sharma 01 May 2009
simply amazing and cute! This country offers so much, I wish its own people would know more about and learn to value what they have got.

Ramesh A. Vaswani 01 May 2009
This museum should find mention by the Ministry of Tourism in their Incredible India campaign and suitable facilities worked out for tourists to access the museum.

Nisha Maria Peres: 01 May 2009
Really awesome!! Thanks for sharing... and these are people worth seeing in immortalised wax forms

Ulrike Straka: Algiers: 03 May 2009

this is to remember India how it was, in a few years time!

i hope some of the good things stay. although i know that what seems beautiful and idyllic to me is in many cases not a situation that people want to have forever (no electricity, hard work on the fields).